God and the City

Not the Bride, but the Maid of Honor

2010-01-27T00:22:00.002-07:00

It's 12:20am and I feel like I'm no closer to accomplishing what I embarked upon 12 hours ago. I started the morning a little late, but regardless the seconds ticked, the clock chimed, and by the time I looked up from my computer it was already time for me to shower and leave for my TEC Director meeting.

At this point in my day, I was a little frazzled. My to do list seemed to be growing longer - not shorter as you would expect for a day full of 'doing' - and my time seemed to be slipping through my fingers like sand in an open palm. But getting into the shower and feeling the water rush over my head, I started to relax and remind myself, "I am not the business owner, but the executive. I don't have the weight of the world on my shoulders, but I will follow and obey He who does carry the world."

Fast forward two hours and we're sitting down for our TEC Director meeting as the Assistant Lay Director manual is handed to me with a 'THUD.' It was bigger than I imagined and the sensation of overwhelming that I had tried to swallow down with dinner returned to an unpleasant place in my stomach. My silent prayer: "Jesus, what have I gotten myself into?"

We started our meeting like you would start any good Catholic ministry meeting...in prayer! And this is what we heard:

They came to John and said to him, "Rabbi, that man who was with you on the other side of the Jordan—the one you testified about—well, he is baptizing, and everyone is going to him." To this John replied, "A man can receive only what is given him from heaven. You yourselves can testify that I said, 'I am not the Christ but am sent ahead of him.' The bride belongs to the bridegroom. The friend who attends the bridegroom waits and listens for him, and is full of joy when he hears the bridegroom's voice. That joy is mine, and it is now complete. He must become greater; I must become less." -- John 3:26-30

People say that prayer is us speaking to God, but Sacred Scripture is God speaking to us. And He had something to say..."You are not the Christ, but sent ahead of him." I am not the bridegroom, but the friend who attends to him...like a Best Man. And while it is the Best Man's duty to help the groom, it is the Maid of Honor's duty to help the Bride. Not the Bride, but the Maid of Honor.

The Maid of Honor is the chief lady attendant of a Bride. As you will see, the Maid of Honor plays an important role to the success of the wedding. Weddings require a lot of preparation. The bride needs help as much as she can. The bride usually gives the maid of honor designation to a close friend or relative who will give morale support to the bride.

Christ's Bride is the Church and with that my role in everything I'm doing needs to focus on providing morale support for the Church and the success of its mission as a practical means of increasing the kingdom for the salvation of souls. Christ has chosen me to partake in this role, as a Bride would give preference to a close friend or relative. And heaven shall be a great wedding feast for all the faithful, but they are not my guests, but His...not my plans, but His...not my wedding, but His.

And from all my special event experience, I know it's going to take some hard work to make sure everyone gets their wedding invitation, RSVPs and is able to make it to the feast. And with that...I'm recharged to be the Maid of Honor and not the Bride.

Paralyzing Fear

2010-01-06T23:54:00.000-07:00

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God." ~Marianne Williamson

I wish I could say that I agreed with Marianne Williamson's analysis of our deepest fear, but I have to say that I don't. I started thinking about fear tonight in my meditation of the mystery of the Annunciation. Mary gives her fiat with such confidence: "May it be done to me according to your word" Luke 1:38. Here I am hanging on to hope for a job that I really don't want and feel in my 'gut' is not right; but I can't let the opportunity go for fear of missing the path God had for me.

I'll throw out three hypothesis for the sources of my paralyzing fear -

Hypothesis ONE: the fear that usually stops be from starting projects...the fear that makes it so much harder to take the next step for fear of failing. There, I said it, FEAR OF FAILING. Not starting something because of the millions of obstacles that enter my head immediately after I think of a great idea. It's this fear of failing that stops me from trying anything new because I immediately think, 'I can't do that. I've never done that before, how could I possibly learn it now.' It's human, but completely irrational - which is, I'm learning, how I operate...irrationally. It's this fear that I'm trying to conquer in 2010 - not only learning and trying new things, but being 'ok' with a perfect failure!

Hypothesis TWO: Fear of rejection and being inadequate...this fear too has shot down some of my would-pursue-if-money-wasn't-a-factor ideas. The idea of being told no, laughed at, or even worse, humiliated, daunts me and is probably the reason that I haven't applied for more jobs since October. I operate under the thought: 'if I'm going to get rejected, by put in the effort.' In essence, I've already made up my mind that rejection is what I'll get, so I'll stop there. I think conquering this fear will take a paradigm shift. A better understanding of Ms Williamson's last statement: "Who are we not to be [brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous]. You are a child of God." Children of God are made to be special and unique - to not be perfect for everything, but to be perfect for something!

Hypothesis THREE: However, unlike Ms. Williamson, I think my deepest fear is rooted in lack of trust. Not trusting GOD enough to be there in time of need, to provide materially, concretely, and not trusting him to take care of the turns and curves in my path. I too often forget that the LORD has provided for all people, all of history - including giving us Jesus, Savior from Sin - why would he stop now? And that's my solution to TRUST - reminding myself that GOD doesn't just stop being GOD, so he continues to provide...he continues to guide...he continues to write my story.

And in those smaller, more mild moments of fear when all else fails, I'll rely on the overly-positive esteem of my mother who thinks her daughter can do no wrong! (At least when she's working....hehe)

The Story of a 24-Year-Old.

2009-12-27T01:18:00.000-07:00

I have had the inspiration to write again...in fact, I've been feeling like I should start blogging again ever since I finished the movie Julie and Julia - it just inspires you to do something that you love!

I've been wondering what to write about, seeing as most of my stories are about how God shows himself in this world and I've been wondering where He's showing himself in the last couple of months. Tonight, as I began to read my new adventure, St. Therese of Lisieux's The Story of a Soul I finally realized I knew EXACTLY what I needed to write...but I'm getting a head of myself. Rewind to October...to be specific, October 13.

It was a Tuesday - I had slept in and although I was supposed to be at work by 8:30am, I had some wiggle room on my 'in' time since I was outside sales and could be out of the office to run errands and have appointments. On that morning I figured I needed to go to the post office to mail a catalogue to one of my clients - meaning I could sleep in for an extra half hour. As I drove from the post office to the office that morning, I remembered something one of the young women in my bible study had said about making sure she prayer in the morning before work - she always could tell that she received the needed graces at work when she took the time for the Lord before work. So that morning, already late, I decided to pull over on the side of the road, about a block or two away from work, and pray my decade. And Mary KNEW that I needed it that morning.

After being at my desk for about 30 minutes, I got called in to Jim's office (our HR guy)...and that was the morning that I joined the ranks of the unemployed for the remainder of 2009! Let's just say that God knew I needed that time in prayer because he gave me the graces I needed to move forward from the news I received that morning. With a little bit of relief, peace and a heavy heart, I left the office that day to continue on my journey in some other capacity. It's been an up and down road these last 2 months...some days loving that I don't have a job, others crying to the Lord asking him how he expects me to do this! And still other days, I envy those around me with options, choices, jobs, money, rings...the list goes on.

It wasn't until Christmas Eve that I started to put together a piece of the puzzle that I hadn't thought about yet. As Ben and I walked in the door of him family's Christmas party we were greeted by his father's family...the sisters, the nieces, the kids. Ben's always great at family gatherings - especially his own; but I noticed, that evening, Ben's care and attention for the souls around him. When Ben sees people he knows he makes a point to acknowledge them, care for what they are saying in the moment and love them in a way that I haven't seen any men do.

So it wasn't a surprise when one of his cousins, Chrissy looked elated to see him. With baby on hip she greeted us with a smile. The beautiful 3-month-old rested in such a natural and comfortable spot on her mother's hip that I would have told you that Chrissy was a natural mother - probably mother to some of the other children that were running around. Upon sitting down at the Christmas table and paying closer attention I realized that Chrissy was no older than me, maybe even younger. Though on first glance she looked like she could be 30, it was apparent that Chrissy had a child as a product of a decision...a decision she was too young to make. And when I see the outcome of that decision, I have to remember that it could have been me.

As I was sitting there trying to figure out her story, I realized that God was apparent not only in her decision, but also in that moment of judgement for me. In my unemployment, I have thrown myself into grabbing hold of virtues and practices and trying more and more to imitate Christ and model myself after Mother Mary. It was in seeing Chrissy across the dinner table that I realized her story, and this moment in it, where all there to serve God in great glory and to call both of us to greater virtue. How boring would it be if her story were exactly like mine or even blander still, if she was perfect...where would we see the straight line that God drew from the crooked ones if she were perfect.

St. Therese too, after joining the convent, contemplated the differences in people's paths:

"I understood that all the flowers that He created are beautiful. The brilliance of the rose and the whiteness of the lily don't take away from the perfume of the lowly violet or the delightful simplicity of the daisy...I understood that if all the little flowers wanted to be roses, nature would lose its springtime adornment, and the fields would no longer be sprinkled with little flowers...So it is in the world of souls, which if Jesus' garden. He wanted to create great saints who could be compared to lilies and roses. But He also created little ones, and these ought to be content to be daisies or violets destined to gladden God's eyes when He glances down at His feet. Perfection consists in doing His will, in being what He wants us to be..."

And in this same way, I have learned, especially in this season of Advent, that I am to be faithful to this spot in life God has put me...whether it be unemployment, as a sister, in a relationship, or asking for Him to show me my next step. "Perfection consists in doing His will, in being what He wants us to be" right St. Therese???

It may seem silly, but I do believe that St Therese of Lisieux is praying for me and God is calling me at this time when I'm 24 (since St Therese died when she was 24) to study and pray with this Saint of the Child Jesus and the Holy Face as a way of living faithfully the small things that I have been given by Our Lord.

And so without further ado, I title the 2nd part of 24, as The Story of a 24-Year-Old.

Just a Wednesday Night

2009-06-03T23:36:00.000-06:00

It's Wednesday night after my Encounter (Bible study)...something that I do every Wednesday night, but tonight in particular the Holy Spirit decided to speak loud and clear.

The last few weeks I've been thinking about all those things that I don't give over to the Lord every day. Some seem small...like what I'll talk to a client about or what movie Ben and I should watch for an evening. Others are bigger...like where my tithing money should go or what apostolate I should do next year.

Tonight the case we discussed was of a man whose family was in need for a temporary car seat for their two-year-old boy. The father, out of desperation and no luck, told his two little girls that they needed Mary's intercession to help them find a car seat. After making their request known to May, a few miles up the road they saw a sign for a garage sale and decided to look for a car seat. Mary had answered their prayers with a car seat that was exactly the boy's size for only $1!

The story struck me because of the man's faith and the smallness of the request. The powerful story penetrated my heart and confirmed that I don't give even the smallest of requests to the Lord. I'm reminded of a quote I have on my desktop that Ben gave me when I was in Australia: "I marvel at how often I forget that I have a loving Father who wants to do everything for me, and instead, I keep doing for myself." -- Fr. John Horn SJ. It is only through our father's desire to do things for us that our prayers are answered - even requests for help of our Mother Mary.

And how often do I decide something so small is not worth praying about...something even large is of no great concern to the Lord of Heaven and Earth. I find myself too, determining that I could ask for help from God and turn my problem over to Him, or I could just do it by myself. It confirms the pettiness of my faith in God and my doubt that my own prayer requests will be answered. I think most of all, my lack of trust that my Father does want to do everything for me breaks down to my confidence in his unending LOVE for me.

Around the same time, that I've been thinking about how much more I should be talking to God, asking of Jesus, giving over to the Trinity, I found my new favorite song: Open Me by Shawn McDonald.

When the song started playing on Pandora, I really didn't start paying attention until this line: "I want to serve you my God, I want to give you everything." The line tugged at me - my soul scream, "EXACTLY" - my eyes filled with small tears. They were the words that my soul was longing to say. I want to serve my Lord and I want to give him everything that I have - everything that I'm holding so dearly to: my money, my possessions, my relationship, my thoughts, my concerns, my weaknesses, my strengths, my LOVE, MY LIFE.

And I've done a poor job in the last few months of doing all of that...so worried about too many things, trying to accomplish too many things, just doing the bare minimum to survive and not giving it to the Lord so he can give me life fuller than surviving.

I don't have too many practical ideas of how to serve the Lord and give him everything, but I'm sure when I give him that concern, he will show me the way...the best way...the Lord's way.

I love these lines:
I want to serve You, my God
I want to give You everything
I want to serve You, my King, yeah
I want to serve You, my Lord
I want to give You everything, Yeah

Here I am with my arms open wide
Asking for You to come up, up inside
Won't You make me new, won't You make me true?
Jesus, won't You make me like You?

For your Additional Viewing Pleasure:
Video of Shawn speaking about his learning of Christ
It's beautiful to see another speak of how God loved them enough to speak to them right where they were at. Their faith gives me so much more faith in the Lord that is personal, loving and all powerful!

Is it worth it?

2009-03-17T09:43:00.000-06:00

Yesterday I was introduced to the circus called the Arapahoe County Court system! One January day when it was slushy and snowy outside, my car caught some snow and out of my control ran off the road and into a neighbor's fence. Long story short, the police came and wrote me a ticket for "careless driving" and sentenced me to a morning at the Arapahoe County Courts on March 16 at 8:30am. As I started out the day waiting in the security line to enter the building, I reminded myself, "There are no lines in Heaven. There are no courts in Heaven. There are no traffic violations and tickets in Heaven..."

Regardless if you think I'm to blame for careless driving or if you believe that the snow and slush played a part in the broken fence post (yes just one), I believed that my experience yesterday was far from JUST in the judicial courts! I'll spare you most of the details, besides the verdict (or pending verdict): the ticket was knocked down to a "unauthorized driver driving the vehicle" - a zero point ticket - but I am required to work off the 2 points at 16 hours of community service. I have another court appearance where they will asses the fine (probably $75) AND I have to pay $50 to do my community service - which I think was the salt in the wound!

I felt like one of those poor balls that gets juggled by the clowns moving from one court official to the next. Not to mention the jumping of hoops between legal terminology, court rooms, waiting lines, and floors. By the end (well maybe more like the middle), I was upset with the system. I correct myself, I was DOWN RIGHT PISSED OFF! I was one of those obnoxious people that voiced her opinion in the elevator bank, in the hallway between rooms, in the waiting room with others [including the staff] to hear my complaints. Yes I was THAT person yesterday.

After a good afternoon nap and a relaxing night with my boyfriend, I calmed down to realize that everything that I thought so awful in the morning was wearing off of me. I came to terms with the outcome of the day and realized that I probably acted childish.

Fast forward 1 good night's sleep and a cup of tea, and I was sitting in the favorite sunken spot on my couch doing morning prayers this morning. Today's passage: Romans 8:9-25. But it only took until verse 17 for me to realize my mistakes yesterday.

St. Paul writes to the Romans about sin and the Spirit which has set us free from sin. One idea struck me in a new and different way this morning. I read, "You received God's Spirit when he adopted you as his own children...And since we are his children, we are his heirs. In fact, together with Christ we are heirs of God's glory." [v.15&17]

So if we know some theology we know that when Christ was risen he received the Kingdom of Heaven and earth to reign over. Christ is now the King of the Father's Kingdom...what a great gift for a Father to give his son [considering on earth the only way a son inherits the father's kingdom is when the father dies]. And if Christ, the Almighty Father's son, received the Kingdom as his inheritance because he was an heir, than we as adopted children of God shall also receive, out of the Father's great love for us, a portion of that Kingdom. In other words, St. Paul says, "together with Christ we are heirs of God's glory" because God's Kingdom is his glory.

I was astonished! We, earthly people, full of sin, clothed with sinful nature, are made a new with the Spirit of adoption because of love AND get to share in God's glory! What person, can say that they have been a part of something that great during their life on earth? I mean, there are some great things on earth, but to be a part of the creator's glory...now that's OUT OF THIS WORLD! :-)

But it gets better, the next verse hit like a nail to the heart: "BUT, if we are to share his glory, we must also share his suffering." S%$#, [excuse the expletive], but that's hard to digest. We get to share in his glory, sure, but we ALSO have to share in his suffering [nothing comes without a price]...and maybe that suffering doesn't look like death on a cross, it might just look like the Arapahoe County Courthouse! That suffering might look like taking punishment that I don't feel I deserve. That suffering might look like loving those that I feel are using the law against me. That suffering might look like NOT speaking my ungracious opinion for others not involved to hear.

In regards to my behavior, I was unworthy yesterday to be wearing my silver charm bracelet with 12 different crosses on it. I am ashamed that I was calling myself a Christian yesterday. I'm embarrassed that anyone who saw me did not see my life as trying to imitate Christ's. I'm humiliated that anyone who heard my words did not hear the hope of Christ's coming Kingdom.

In the end, rather than reminding myself about no lines in Heaven and no courts in Heaven and no traffic violations in Heaven, I should have been asking myself, "Is it worth it? Is Heaven and the sharing in God's glory worth sharing in his suffering?" Will I suffer more willingly and patiently next time knowing that when I share in his suffering, I will also share in his glory?

Old and Wise - A Lesson in Living

2009-03-03T10:30:00.000-07:00

I try to go to daily Mass - sometimes I get there. Nonetheless, whenever I do go in the morning, I am always greeted with the warm smiles, wrinkled faces and white hairs of some of the oldest Catholics around. Now when I use the term 'old' I imply no disrespect what so ever - I merely use the term to give you a good visual. In the future I will use the term wise because I do think they have some wisdom to impart on us.

It has struck me many times, based on the sheer number of them compared to the number of people within my age bracket, that maybe these wise folks know something that the twenty-somethings are missing.

These men and women in their 70s, 80s or even 90s [and I'm not joking, they are your grandparent's parents' ages] are devoted to the daily celebration of the Eucharist. Their years [triple the years that I have been around] and the way in which they spend the last few years, months or even days of their earthly lives is a testament to the wisdom they have gained in life.

It is a good reminder to me that we are destined for something so much greater than this earth. And I'm sure it took some of them longer than others to realize it. I suppose towards the later years of your life you start to reflect on 'what's next?'. No more thinking about boyfriends, marriages, kids, their boyfriends, their marriages, new jobs, retirement. You start to think, 'what's after all of that?' And they have found the answer in daily Mass. What's after this? HEAVEN!!!

And I will wait in joyful hope - going to daily Mass more often - till that day comes when both I and they can celebrate eternal life with our Lord...the reason we all go to daily Mass.

Shame of the Loved

2009-01-16T00:12:00.000-07:00

My sister got a flat tire one night. I was half asleep when she walked into my room and began her petition in her whiny voice, "Natalia, I should have aired up my tire before I left mom and dad's house, but I didn't and now I have a flat tire. What do I do?" She had driven about 45 minutes at 11pm with less than 1/4 of the normal air in her tires.

As we went outside to assess the damage, she kept repeating, "I'm so mad at myself. I should have turned around and filled my tires up." She had driven on such low air pressure the rim had torn up about a third of the tire. We moved our pity party to the neighborhood gas station...I drove my car following her the two blocks just in case. When I got out of my car I could see that her guilt had taken over. She was far from wanting to fix the situation and concerned with reversing the hands of time.

The jack came out, the spare tire came out, the wrench came out, and with each tool she pleaded with me not to tell dad. "He will be so disappointed with me. I know better. He will be so mad that I didn't do what he asked again." She refused to call our father, who, I knew, could help; he's the only person that could guide us through the mistake to the end, and she refused to turn to him for help because of her shame.

That night after the tire was fixed and we were safe in our beds, I thanked God for helping to keep us safe as we fixed the tire at midnight on the corner of Colfax. I also thanked him for the blessing of the nice man that helped us. But my prayers were short that night, unlike most nights. I was upset with myself that week for my failure in maintaining my prayer commitments. I had chosen other priorities and made other tasks more important - even though I knew in my heart that prayer is the most important. I had not turned to him earlier that day, so in shame I went to bed after those short prayers.

The next day, my sister finally told dad that she ran her tire so low that it was irreparable. Much to her surprise, he didn't get mad - he actually laughed. He was so thankful that she was safe. He saw her sorrow and worry as a sign of penance and knew that she acknowledged her mistake, so he helped her out without any more words on the situation. Our father is adamant about having my sisters and me check our cars on a regular basis. My sister learned that his persistence on the issue is not meant to make us feel shameful, but is motivated by his love for us. He really does just want us to be safe and by teaching us to check our cars regularly, he knows we can ensure our own safety.

It was then that I realized, I too was afraid to turn to God because of my shame. I was convinced that he would be mad at my failings. I learned a thing or two about fathers through my sister and my dad: God, like any good father, is not mad when I fail. Because he is the father of a fallen race he, rather, expects it. We're really only human - failing is in our nature. Our Father already anticipated that we'd fail; hence, the need for the sacrifice of his son, Jesus. God the Father loves me so much he just wants the best for me - like my dad. His heart leaps when I come back to him in prayer and repent for my wrongs, my shortcomings, my infidelities. Talk about unconditional love - a love that does not make you feel shameful or get mad a one because of a mistake, but a love that laughs when a mistake is made and helps out without another word on the situation.

We as the beloved might feel shame, but it's a beautiful sign of repentance. We would only feel shame because we failed to show love where it was deserved. God always years to embrace us that have strayed and help us who repent. Just remember, we're only human - we make mistakes - Christ anticipated that!

"How is it that ye sought me?"

2009-01-14T11:10:00.000-07:00

As many of you know, I have been studying the life of Christ, like one would study a biography of a role model. This morning, my reading was a deeper look into a childhood incident of Christ - the finding of Christ in the Temple. For those of you who are not familiar, here's a synopsis [including my own imaginings]:

The holy family leaves Nazareth in pursuit of Jerusalem to celebrate the tradition of the Passover. The Passover was a great feast to the Jewish people as they celebrated their freedom from slavery and their move from Egypt to the promise land. Jesus at the time is about 12 and I could just imagine a great caravan of people walking, elderly on asses, kids leading the way in all their excitement. I'm sure Mary and Joseph has friends and family that they traveled with. As they get to Jerusalem, they spend all their day

s enjoying company, celebrating, drinking wine, and maybe even some good 'ld dance parties. After a certain number of days of celebration the group embarks upon the journey home to Jerusalem. Mary notices that her only son is missing...he's not in the caravan, he's not at the front with the other kids, and he's not among the other friends or relatives. I'm sure she's a little frazzled - she probably pulled Joseph aside and asked if he had seen their son. At that point, they decide to head back in the direction they came, retracing their steps to find their boy.

Poor Mary - she must have felt the weight of the world on her shoulder - not to mention she's been entrusted by God to take care of his only begotten son. She's a mother in distress - walking rapidly through the villages and side streets...carefully eyeing every little boy around Jesus's height. She's knocking on doors asking strangers if they have seen her beloved son. She's not worried about her hair or her makeup; she's not concerned with how tired her feet are or how hungry her tummy is; she is only concerned with LOVE...and finding that boy that she loves so much...what distress.

After 3 days of restlessly searching, she comes to the temple where they had their celebrations. In the order of the temple she spots a group of elders...older men with long beards. They were probably great rabbis or teachers of the day. Mary's a little afraid to interrupt them as they may not be bothered with a plain woman who has lost her son, but love grips her heart and gives her the courage to walk closer to speak with them.

There, in the midst of the men, is Jesus. With his precious twelve-year-old boy face, his wispy hair, and his confident stature. All the men are looking down upon him, listening with great awe to his words. For little did these men know, but these words that Jesus was teaching were none other than his eternal father's. Just as he is finishing answering one of the rabbi's questions, Mary swoops in and grasps him in her arms - holding him so tightly that he cannot get away and releasing all the worries, anxieties, and tears that she held onto for the past three days.

Upon taking him out of the temple to start their journey back home she asks: "Son, why hast thou thus dealt with us [her and Joseph]? Behold, thy father and I have sought thee sorrowing." To which he responds, "How is it that ye sought me? Wist ye not that I must be about my Father's business?" In other words, Mary says, "Why did you just leave without telling us? We have been looking for you with great grief." And Jesus replies, "How did you look for me? Didn't you know that I had to do what I was sent to do by the father?"

For more accurate text, read the gospel: Luke 2:41-52

One of the reasons I enjoy learning about Christ's life is because of the discovery of self that I find within the gospels, especially in relating to the people surrounding Jesus in these stories. David Ramsey says "If you want to be rich, do what rich people do." In the same way, if I am to be like Christ, I have to do what Christ does. I'm so far away from being Christ, that I have taken solace in trying to imitate those around him like his mother Mary and just like Mary in this story sometimes I have failed to find Christ.

For all intents and purposes, like Christ was the son of Mary, let's call Christ my best friend. Maybe someone who has come to visit me from a far off country and is delighted at spending time with me.

Often days, I am frantically running around going about my work, not even realizing that I have lost my best friend. I'm so enwrapped in myself and my duties that I fail to even recognize that I left my best friend behind. I failed to invite him along. Now, truth be told, Christ is never lost: "Do you know that I can never be lost...I will be everywhere where any one believes in me, even if they do not see me with their eyes." My point is that he is lost in my life...I have lost him in my day and didn't recognize, just like Mary lost her son among the crowds of people.

When I do realize that I am missing something, I too frantically search, like Mary, in all the wrong places. I'm trying to find fulfillment and peace in a job...I'm trying to find beauty and serenity in fashion magazines and make-up...I'm trying to find romance and love in the newest release or TV series...I'm trying to find adventure and a new life in the novel I'm reading...I'm trying to find a savior and true friend in a boyfriend. Christ has told us that he will be all of these things: fulfillment and peace, beauty and serenity, romance and love, adventure and a new life, savior and true friend.

"How is it that ye sought me?" In other words, did you look for me in the right places? Did you search for me in the Father's place of worship? Did you look for me doing my Father's will? Did you seek me in the wisdom and counsel of others? How is it that you seek Christ?

Australia - Three Weeks Coming to a Rapid End

2008-12-06T03:40:00.000-07:00

So three weeks has been an absolute WHIRLWIND. I knew it would go by fast, but as I sit thinking about what to write I just realize now how much has happened and that we only have 2 days left before we pack our bags back up and board a plane.

Here are the Cliff Notes:

11/29
Last Saturday we spent the day in Williamstown [a beautiful coastal city where my mom's friend Barbara lives]. We enjoyed the beach and the pier and taking their Irish Wolfhound for a walk.

That evening our cousins Simon and Adel took us out to experience the nightlife in the city [downtown Melbourne]. We started out at the Casino Crown and had so much fun gambling on the Greyhound and horse races and winning that that is where we ended up spending our whole evening.

11/30
Sunday was spent in the city as well - we went up to the tallest building in Melbourne (88 stories) and enjoyed the 360 view from the top of the glass tower. WHAT a view. It was very gratifying to see things from above that we had visited earlier in the week since our arrival.

12/1
My favorite part of Monday was getting dressed up to celebrate Maria's birthday. Maria is a grade school friend of my mom's. Maria treated our family and Franca's family [another grade school friend] to the most magnificent buffet in Victoria at the Conservatory, a part of the Crown Hotel and Casino. WHAT A BUFFET: Pawns, seafood, Kangaroo, pasta, ice cream, chocolate fountain, chicken of all kinds, soups....and all of them wonderful! We eat like Kings and Queens that night.

12/2
Shopping with Auntie Kathy! We went to the Direct Factory Outlets and scored some great deals! Kathy is full of Aussie slang too...we learned "gas bag" for someone who tells everyone's secrets and "sticky beak" for someone who is nosey and wants to know everyone else's business. There's even a store here called Colorado.

12/3
Teresa, my Godmother, had a few families over for dinner. An Italian feast, good conversation and games with the kids.

12/4
We started our adventure to Warnambool - west of Melbourne closer to the coast. After a three hour drive we had arrived to our Great Uncle Sylvio's mini farm where to our surprise he had more animals that my mom remembered including the cutest black kitten and a horse named ARNOLD :-)

12/5
Great Ocean Road was our tour guide on Friday. We went from the Tweleve Apostles to the Grotto to London Bridge to Peterborough to Port Campbell. What a GREAT drive - the wonders of the Ocean are just magnificent! My favorite was London Bridge [above] and just like the song - this London Bridge fell down. January 15 of 1990 a tour bus was from the mainland onto the end of the bridge when the last part of the bridge collapsed as it had been eroded from the water at high tide. The poor group was stuck over on the other end for just some time. And my favorite part of the story was that just a few days prior my family and I [being the youngster that I was] went on that same bridge! Needless to say that was the last tour bus to the end of the bridge.

12/6
Today was the drive back to Melbourne for the last few days of our Australian Adventure. Wish us safe travels home!

Cheers Mate!

Australian Adventures Con't - Nov 27&28

2008-12-02T18:51:00.000-07:00

“All Consuming Fire Burn in Me”
Everyone likes to be challenged – tonight Uncle Nick, Aunt Kathy and Nathan (7) came over to join Lydia, Pop and I for dinner. It was a rare instance when we didn’t have mom here – the one person who links us all. Nick got hung up on the card game Freecell on the computer and Nathan was just loving playing Skipbo with Lydia and I – both of which were challenging for their players. I started thinking about the things that challenge me and how I thrive on conquering something as small as a game or as large as a relationship.

I feel empowered with the idea of conquering something that might be “too hard.” But sometimes, like yesterday, I fall into succumbing to the obstacles and struggling through it, rather than fighting. Yesterday I was SICK! I drank two bottles of water, went through an entire box of tissues, and was rotating through three different medicines. After watching one whole DVD of Gidget [an old 1960s sitcom with Sally Field] and taking a nap, I woke up feeling worse than when I started the day: unable to speak, a cough that shook my ribs, and congestion that made my nose feel like the Eisenhower tunnel. I even entertained the idea of calling a priest and asking for my final absolution!

“My faith is like shifting sand, so I stand on grace.”
It wasn’t until this morning in the shower, when I felt like a new person because I could breathe, that I thought about how I could have conquered my cold rather than submit myself to the feelings of desperation. In hindsight, it was nothing more than a nasty bit of the flu, but in the thick of it I couldn’t see the forest from the trees, or should I say the tissue from the snot!

It seems that far too often I loose hope at the sight of the trees. I forget about the health at the end of the sick; I forget about the joy at the end of the sadness; I forget about the new beginning at the end of an end; the life at the end of death; the glory at the end of the cross.

Not to mention that sometimes we only learn how to be grateful when something we take for granted is taken away from us – like the ability to breathe with snot! Ok I really mean our health. How often do you say, “I’m so thankful that I’m healthy this morning.” Maybe a great lesson for all of us.

“The altar of God – my joy, my delight and my strength”
Needless to say today was a much better day than yesterday. Besides feeling well enough to actually move from the bed, I got to enjoy an afternoon walk back from the clinic with my mom. She shared with me some of the “secrets” of her childhood. I call them secrets only because my mom rarely shares experiences about her childhood with us. As we are in Australia, in the house she grew up in (from the age of 4-23) and walking down the same streets she walked before she met my father, it seems only appropriate to discuss her coming her age.

Here’s the background: my grandparents were immigrants to Australia from Italy coming across on a ship where their ticket was a loan. They each brought one suitcase over and high hopes for their careers. You see the immigrants where the ones that labored away at factory jobs to build the economy of Australia. They knew not a lick of English and had no intentions of becoming CEOs or shareholders, but only knew the opportunity and pay here was far better than in Italy in their poor village of Toco. This area of Australia has tons of Italians. They might have been like the Mexicans that we see in the US…working their fingers off at any shift they can get just to send some money back home and make a better living for those they love.

“Listen to the prayers of a dying world”
My mom told me how hard my grandfather and grandmother worked – every weekday from 7am until 7pm and a half day on Saturday. They did the grocery shopping for the week on Saturday visiting the deli and the city’s market for fresh fruits and vegetables. Sunday was spent at church and home with the family doing all the house work and getting ready for another week of work. There was no drinking or going to pubs, and no going out to dinner or movies. My mom would come home every afternoon after school, take care of her brother, finish her homework and start dinner for her parents. She didn’t have slumber parties or friends over after school, no trips to the mall or dates on Friday nights.

There was no education for the immigrants – they learned the little English they knew from their children who went to English school, but spoke Italian at home. My mom raved about the sewing that my Nonna (grandmother) could do. She could look at a snag in clothing and figure out what stitch was used and replicate it. My mom loved wearing the dresses and shirts her mother made for her and swears up and down that with a little education Nonna could have been a fashion designer with all of her talent.

My grandmother (Nonna) passed the year before my family moved back to America (1990) – Dominique never got to meet her and quite frankly I don’t know how much Lydia and I really remember about her. But the sweet regard that my mom has for her I know that we would have gotten along with her. I know that Nonna would be proud of the strides that her daughter has made to provide for her three granddaughters.

It’s just strange being in the same house that my mother grew up in and feeling so disconnected from the way life was for her. Every day that passes here I keep looking at my mother, this woman that I have only known to be my mother, and see a new part of her – the years she took care of her younger brother, the times she was smaller and made dinner, the night she brought my dad home to meet her parents for the first time, the day she took a photo with her mom and dad in this living room in her wedding dress.

With the same awe I look at my Pop, a man that I’ve only known by the few words of broken English that he speaks two or three times a year on the phone. He’s a man that had the hope for something better, a man that knew the value of hard work and manual labor, a man that sacrificed for those that he loved, a man that has lived through the life of two generations of his family and the death of so many that were a part of the previous two generations.

When we all reach the end of our life, God will ask us one question: “How much did you love?” I know that both Nonna and Pop loved enough to get to heaven. I hope that I will have enough strength in my life to love like they did so that at the end of my life I will be able to say: “A lot. I loved a lot.”

G'Day from Down Under - Day 1

2008-11-20T18:57:00.000-07:00

We started our journey at DIA enjoying the moving sidewalks - that is letting the sidewalk take us past our gate as we posed for pictures!

2 hours and a 45 minute adjustment to the plane later we land in LA. We had completed 3K of our marathon. With passports in hand we board the 13.5 hour flight from LA to Sydney. Lydia, Dominique and I are on the right of the plan and mom and dad shared the seats in the middle of the plane with an older gentleman (poor guy - dad did not let him sleep much during the flight...too much to talk about!) As the plane took off Dad got a little hungry and decided to grab just about everything that he had stuffed his bag with from our fridge...he pulled out the ham, he pulled out the bread, he pulled out the apple, and he pulled out the carrot! Other than dad whipping out the ingredients for a ham sandwich the plane ride was relatively uneventful and we were thankful for that.

When we arrived in Sydney we had to disembark the plane, go through immigration and then head back onto the plane for the last leg of our trip to Melbourne. After immigration we took a mini detour on our way back to the gate and stopped in the SYD Tax and Duty Free shop. Since we all stunk of plane we enjoyed the isles of perfume sampling (Channel Spring Chance won our vote) and the Bailey’s sample woman treated Lydia to her first legal Australian drink – Bailey’s with a hint of mint chocolate. Our detour included Lydia getting to purchase her first alcoholic beverage as the drinking age in Australia is 18.

Finally back on the plane and 1 hour later we were at our final destination – Melbourne, Victoria. We figured out we had missed a day with the time change and had also spent a little more than 24 hours of total travel time (more than half of which was spent on planes). Pop (our grandfather on mom’s side), Nick (Mom’s brother and our uncle) and Teresa (Mom’s best friend and my Godmother) greeted us at the airport with huge hugs and kisses. Mom didn’t even recognize her father it has been so long since we have seen this side of the family.

Once in Glenroy (the town/suburb that Pop lives in), the streets and sights began to look familiar. Pop’s house had not changed a bit – every photo we saw on our last visit was in the exact same place – it was such a comfortable atmosphere to see pictures of my mom as a little Catholic school girl and our parents as a happy newlywed couple.

We were at the house at about 1pm and like magic I told my uncle I was starving and my mom’s confirmation sponsor and family friend walked in with pans of food – lasagna, chicken legs, stuffed mushrooms, tiramisu cake, and plenty to drink including Pop’s homemade black wine – the strong stuff! There was so much food we ended up spending the rest of the afternoon and evening eating with and entertaining old friends…by 9pm we had seen Teresa and her family (Flavio, her husband, Stefano, her 10-year-old-son, and Alessandra, her 14-year-old daughter), our uncle Nick, aunt Kathy and new cousin Nathan (Nathan is 7, but this was the first time that we have met him), Franca and her daughter Isabella (family friends and also Teresa’s sister and niece), and Maria (Mom’s friend from gradeschool). Not to mention that it’s now 3AM Colorado time. Goodnight for today!

If God is for us, who can be against us?

2008-11-12T12:37:00.001-07:00

Words from a wise angel:

'Never borrow from the future. If you worry about what may happen tomorrow and it doesn't happen, you have worried in vain. Even if it does happen, you have to worry twice.'

1. Pray
2. Go to bed on time.
3. Get up on time so you can start the day unrushed.
4. Say No to projects that won't fit into your time schedule, or that will compromise your mental health.
5. Delegate tasks to capable others.
6. Simplify and unclutter your life.
7. Less is more. (Although one is often not enough, two are often too many.)
8. Allow extra time to do things and to get to places.
9. Pace yourself. Spread out big changes and difficult projects over time; don't lump the hard things all together.
10. Take one day at a time.
11. Separate worries from concerns . If a situation is a concern, find out what God would have you do and let go of the anxiety . If you can't do anything about a situation, forget it.
12. Live within your budget; don't use credit cards for ordinary purchases.
13. Have backups; an extra car key in your wallet, an extra house key buried in the garden, extra stamps, etc.
14. K.M.S. (Keep Mouth Shut). This single piece of advice can prevent an enormous amount of trouble.
15. Do something for the Kid in You everyday.
16. Carry a Bible with you to read while waiting in line.
17. Get enough rest.
18. Eat right.
19 Get organized so everything has its place.
20. Listen to a tape while driving that can help improve your quality of life.
21. Write down thoughts and inspirations.
22. Every day, find time to be alone.
23. Having problems? Talk to God on the spot. Try to nip small problems in the bud. Don't wait until it's time to go to bed to try and pray.
24. Make friends with Godly people.
25. Keep a folder of favorite scriptures on hand.
26. Remember that the shortest bridge between despair and hope is often a good 'Thank you Jesus .'
27. Laugh.
28. Laugh some more!
29. Take your work seriously, but not yourself at all.
30. Develop a forgiving attitude (most people are doing the best they can).
31. Be kind to unkind people (they probably need it the most).
32. Sit on your ego.
33 Talk less; listen more.
34. Slow down.
35. Remind yourself that you are not the general manager of the universe.
36. Every night before bed, think of one thing you're grateful for that you've never been grateful for before. GOD HAS A WAY OF TURNING THINGS AROUND FOR YOU.

This is a start to narrow down my New Year's resolution...I LOVE all of them!

Dawn of a Conflagration

2008-11-05T16:08:00.000-07:00

CONFLAGRATION: A raging, destructive fire. Often used to describe a fire burning under extreme fire weather. The term is also used when a wildland fire burns into a wildland/urban interface, destroying many structures.

Dawn of a conflagration ... it's the theme for the Light of the World youth group, but after the disappointing news of the 2008 Presidential election and my pregnancy center training this morning, it just seemed fitting that maybe I am in the dawn of a raging, destructive, all consuming fire.

The youth group uses the saying as an analogy to the love that we should have for God - a love that burns anything in its way - holding nothing back from God's love and the power that love can have in our lives. And like any wild fire that burns the land, it is always from the death of the land that comes new life - bigger and better trees, brighter flowers, more foliage. But I'm a little stuck at the moment on the negative connotations of a fire...the destruction, the death, the evil, the power, the control of the fire and the fear of onlookers.

Today during training we were talking about STDs and STIs (sexually transmitted infections) and the epidemic that runs silently along side teens. An epidemic or FIRE that is pure evil that came from a misuse of something purely good. I feel as though I am working at the pregnancy center to put out a fire that continues to burn...Not to mention the state of the economy, the issue of life, and the tremendous disappointment and heartfelt concern many citizens felt when John McCain was not slated as President-Elect.

These fires are only the external fires that I am facing. Tonight at ENCOUNTER I got some reminder that though we might have a new president come 2009 we are still under the Kingdom of God and that alone should give me HOPE! We are a people of hope - regardless of these conflagrations, Christ has already proven that GOOD will prevail in the end. The fire that burns will only bring about the new and better life in all of us. It is this hope that I will take into my weekend. We can never underestimate the power of the small work that we are doing.

Father John Bullock would agree with me:
"If we really want something, we find a way… period. It’s very easy to complain about the evils in society, but that does little good. While prayer is the most important means to combat evil, it is also true that God wants us to roll up our sleeves and get to work. Other groups are willing to make great sacrifices to see their religious, social and political programs become a reality. We must be willing to do the same. As he did with the apostles, Christ also sends us out to evangelize the world. As he told them, he tells us, “Take courage; I have conquered the world” (John 16:33)."

My attitude of being lazy and hopeless is doing even LESS to put out these fires out. Here's to putting on my firefighting gear and getting in the middle of the heat. And the GOOD news is when the fire is over, the new life begins!

A Lesson About the Boyfriend: Mary and Martha

2008-10-29T10:12:00.000-06:00

Last night, while visiting my boyfriend, he brought some clothes out of the dryer and laid them on his bed. In an attempt to be a good girlfriend, I began folding the clothes much to his dismay. He was disappointed that I would rather fold clothes with him than spend time with him which was not the way I saw it at all. I thought that as a team we could spend time together and accomplish things. It was then that I realized, our different ideas of “spending time together” are much like the different ideas of Mary and Martha.

Jesus comes to visit the two sisters and Martha as a good host begins to fervently prepare food, clean up the house, and serve her friend that has just graced them with his presence. Mary does just the opposite; sitting at the feet of Jesus she listens to his stories, asks him questions and gives her full attention to her friend that has just graced them with his presence.

Martha sees Mary’s behavior as lazy and inappropriate because she is left to serve and prepare all by herself, so she confronts Jesus with her concern: “do you not care that my sister has left me to do all the serving alone? Then tell her to help me.” My response was quite the same to my boyfriend last night: “Don’t you see that we can spend time together and get something done? Let me help you fold your laundry.”

And Jesus in his great patience actually disputes what Martha has asked of him: “Martha, Martha, you are worried and bothered about so many things; but only one thing is necessary, for Mary has chosen the good part.” For only one thing is necessary when spending time with another person, to actually give them all of your attention, to listen to them, to share with them.

One Week Ago Today

2008-04-16T20:37:00.001-06:00

From left to right. TOP: Karla, Jessie, Natalia, Erin

BOTTOM: Amy, Barbara, Leah and Alexa

One week ago today I was preparing to leave Colorado and enjoy the beautiful sun and beaches of Key Biscayne, FL. Well here I am and I love it...the weather is wonderful, the beach is beautiful - even though I've been suffering a burn for a few days, and the work is totally hard, but right up my alley.

My Condo-mates are fun! I have four of them. Auravelia is from Canada - she's my roommate...we enjoy late night talks and staying up till the wee hours of the night talking and commiserating. Her family's from Nicaragua, but she most recently lived in Canada - so she speaks English, Spanish and French. I feel like a giant around here because she's shorter than I am, but full of energy and praise for Pope Benedict (her favorite alive person). She reminds me of Shannon Wallace - full of zeal. :-)

In the room next to me, we have Amy and Karla. Karla's from Cancun, Mexico and speaks with a beautiful Mexican accent and makes all the guys heads turn. She's one of the most spiritual people that I know and has quite the devotion to the rosary that we have all started praying it every night before bed. Amy has an amazing sense of humor and we are both VERY sarcastic with each other! She's hilarious - by far the funniest person I've met from Nebraska, or maybe the only person I've met from Nebraska and I swear one day she will be writing and directing for SNL!

Alexa lives by herself and it's a good thing too because she's got enough shoes for everyone in the house...It's ok with me - I wear a size 8 too! She's the drama queen - not in the bad way. She is the actress of the house so her expressions are dynamic, her laugh is just as big as mine and she speaks her mind - good, bad or ugly! She's got great facial expressions (always a good photo face), big beautiful eyes that catches your attention when she talks and a passion for what she's doing. She reminds me of Katie Corder!

We've all adpoted using the phrase "hey bitches" - to be said in a high-pitched squeal...yes, mind you, we are all Catholic women!

I'm known around the house (and the office for that matter) as the Lindsay Lohan look alike - I don't see it, but each of the girls individually has told me I looked like her when I met them all separately - even the day interns and friends who have come over to the house have said there is some resemblance...this isn't even the first time that I've gotten this comment! The girls took photos tonight to show their friends that they "met Lindsay Lohan."

We had a Mexican fiesta last night with my famous taco salads. Monday night we enjoyed Sushi boats at Sean Wolfington's house (the executive produer). He lives in Cher's old house - literally with the ocean in his back yard!! The picture above is one that we took in his foyer...the paintings behind us were made by the assistant director of the Passion. VERY COOL!

Saying Goodbye

2008-04-08T02:20:00.000-06:00

WOW - where do I begin? Thursday was my last day of work at Dance Trax - a bittersweet moment as I cleaned out my used-to-be-home office...I worked in that office everyday for the last year and two months and I don't even have a picture of it :-(

Friday was busy with errands and lunch dates and helping out a friend at the convention downtown.

Saturday I met Chef Robert Irvine from the Food Network's Dinner: Impossible. A very talkative, friendly fellow...don't worry none of the rumors are true. He was very inspirational and told me that life gives you opportunities only once and you need to take them because they don't come around again! (Ain't that the truth).

Then I was off to the Rockies game - yes we lost, yes it was cold and yes I did have fun with Cindy!!! Then it was off to meet up with Hudd and Kiki and Annie-bellie...we enjoyed my last night in Denver together and got to meet up with some old college hallmates, which was quite a treat if I do say so myself. Word to the wise - Maloney's has good music...GO GREASE LIGHTING, YOU'RE BURNING UP THE QUARTER MILE!

Sunday, I was paying for the night that I had on Saturday and definitely learning my lesson...don't drink the night before your parent's are throwing you an open house, especially when your sisters spend their entire morning listening to the orders of your frantic mother as she cleans the house. This, right here, is my public apology to my family, and especially my middle sister Lydia, for my selfishness on Saturday night and my immature behavior. My family was very supportive as they laughed while I couldn't keep anything down...it was a little nicer than I make it sound, but not by much - I was hurting.

The open house was lovely - thank you to all who came. We had a packed house and I enjoyed filling everyone in my adventure - or at least what I know about it - and having everyone write in my journal. It truly amazes me how supportive everyone is!

Sunday night was dinner at John Holly's with my close friends...I loved having everyone of them there. I did not get a picture with Shannon Wallace, so I have to mention her here. Check out the photos: Click Here.

I loved having all of my friends around one big table and I am so blessed to have all of these people in my life. Thank you for celebrating with me...PLUS I LOVE John Holly's food!

Monday was full of errands and appointments - I made dinner for the family as a Thank You and apology for Sunday morning...I think they accepted. Food was great - my usual: Chicken Parmesan (thank you Morgan), mashed potatoes (thank you Marshall), and broccoli (thank you Dominique)...and thanks to Dana for keeping me company while I cooked!

Finally, today was full of more errands and appointments and friends! I got to go to my Theology of the Body class with Welona - it's amazing! More to come about that in later posts - I can already tell this will be a huge thing in my life and I'm introducing it to more people. I was blessed with a little celebration after the class with some of my favorite people - I got to see Kirsten and Christina and Karen and Lisa...and new friends Billy and Todd joined us!

I am so absolutely grateful to all that I have seen and said goodbye to. I know it may or may not be a long goodbye, but regardless it has been great to know that so many people support me and are praying for me. God has truly filled my life with some of the most amazing people that I know.

Leaving still feels very surreal - I cannot imagine that I will not drive up my driveway again for a while...not enjoy the messiness of my jeep...not sit in my kitchen at the wee hours of the morning and write my blog. I will have new faces, new experience and new places to encounter, but as the old girl scout song goes:

Make new friends, but keep the old.
One is silver and the other's gold.
A circle's round. It has no end.
That's how long I'm going to be your
friend.

With that I'm off to pack - right it's 1:20am on the day that I leave and I'm still not packed...I'm not really worried about it. When I'm on the beaches of Key Biscayne, I'll write more. For now, pray for safe travels and patience!

Welcome :: My First Blog (not on the beach yet)

2008-04-02T22:32:00.000-06:00

Hello, Hello...

Welcome to my blog. I've never done this before, but I thought it might be fun to keep a blog and make sure I was documenting this new adventure. It's called "Life's a Beach" - the blog, an I guess the adventure as well! Not only did I title it this because I'll be living on the beach, but also because it's one of my mom's favorite sayings and she might be the thing I miss most about Colorado ("My Baby's home" will no longer greet me as I walk in the door!)

So here's what I'm doing: I'll be moving from Denver, CO to Key Biscayne, FL (an island 10 minutes away from Miami) to work with the marketing staff (VP of Marketing, Film Producer and Graphic Designer and other interns) to promote the film Bella.

This "new chapter" of my life is going to be a bittersweet change. I have resigned my position at Dance Trax Entertainment as General Manager and gave up my position on the leadership board of the ISES Denver Chapter. I am sad to leave all the people that I have worked with and all the great progress that both our company and this organization will have in the next few years. I know that I have contributed to them and that my passions lie elsewhere, but I cannot help but wish they prosper in my absence.

I am VERY excited about the beach!!! I can't wait for the sun, the sand, the water, wearing flipflops and skirts and the beautiful bronze color that I hope to become! I think I'll even soliciate the help of a cute beach bum to teach me how to surf...what could be better?!?

Thanks for starting this journey with me and for your support as I make new friends, learn a new industry, and create a path for myself!

In Christ - natalia